Murder, Madness and a Whole Lot of Coffee
by Artistatwork94
Summary: Written by Call-1800-Bite-Me and IceGirl2772. What if it was BRENNAN who got shot at the end of Wannabe in the Weeds? B/B slight H/A Z/OC S/OC T because we're paranoid. Avaliable on both profiles. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**IceGirl2772: HEY, GUYS! This is IceGirl2772 and Call-1800-Bite-Me bringing to the Internet the CRAZIEST shit known to man!  
**

**Bite-Me: Somebody feed me NOW!  
**

**IceGirl2772: Bite-Me, be quiet.**

**Bite-Me: I DON'T WANNA!**

**Booth: What is wrong with you two?**

**IceGirl2772 and Bite-Me: A lot of things!**

**Bite-Me: Now quiet and say the disclaimer or else... *in a sing-song voice* NO PICTURE OF BONES IN A SWIM SUIT FOR YOU!**

**Booth: *pouting* But you promised...**

**Bite-Me: I know what I promised. Just say the disclaimer.**

**Booth: Fine. IceGirl2772 and Call-1800-Bite-Me do not own Bones or any of the characters. But they do own a whole lot of popcorn, chips and random items you find in your stomach.**

**IceGirl2772: *pouting* I can't eat popcorn and it also sucks that we don't own Bones. *normal* But we do own 2 OCs that are as crazy as we are.**

**Bite-Me: Dude, how can they be as crazy as us...*thinking face* HEY! THAT ACTUALLY MADE SENSE! OH MY GOD! THE WORLD MUST HAVE BEEN TAKEN OVER BY FLYING MONKIES WHEN I WAS ASLEEP!**

**IceGirl2772: Why?**

**Bite-Me: Well, because I'm thinking and that made sense.**

**IceGirl2772: Good point.**

**IceGirl2772 and Bite-Me: Now let's get on with the story before lover-boy over here *points to Booth drooling over Bones* figures out that we rigged the photo to blow up in his face.**

**Booth: Wait. You rigged it?**

**Bite-Me: *innocent look* Of course not...**

**IceGirl2772 and Bite-Me: NOW TO WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE READING!**

**!WARNING! !WARNING! CRAZINESS WILL ENSURE! !WARNING! !WARNING! MIGHT BE A LITTLE BIT OF SWEARING! !WARNING! !WARNING! (Bite-Me: I think we have enough warnings... IceGirl2772 and Bite-Me: NOW ONWARD! XD)  


* * *

**_**!Chapter 1! *insert mystical music here***_

"Let me guess: You wrapped up another case," Jamie guessed.

Jamie Burkes is an 18-year-old Australian woman who works at the diner and is close friends with Booth and Brennan. Actually, she's like a daughter to Booth. Her hair is honey blonde and the ends reach towards her waist. Her eyes are a striking hazel. Her skin is ivory and flawless.

"Yep. We still have the highest success rate in the country," Booth boasted.

"But we still have to finish the paperwork," Brennan pointed out.

"Damnit!" Booth exclaimed, pouting like a 5-year-old.

Suddenly, a 19-year-old woman walked into the diner wearing jeans and a black t-shirt that looks like a tux under a grey hoodie carrying a thermo cup containing some sort of liquid and bouncing her head up-and-down listening to music through her green, skull-candy headphones. She has dirty blonde hair that she wears in a low ponytail and looks very similar to Booth.

"Hey, Alex!" Jamie called as she began pouring Booth a cup of coffee.

"Hey, BB. *insert Jamie twitching here* How's it go-. BOOTH!" Alex exclaimed as she tackled hugged Booth.

"You 2 know each other?" Jamie and Brennan asked Booth, confused.

"No shit, Sherlock," Alex responded sarcastically.

"She's my niece," Booth added.

"Yes, I'm awesome. And you know it. And I can't explain it because I'm awesome," Alex said.

"Ali, how much coffee did you have?" Jamie asked concerned as she went to get Booth a cream pie. **(Both: This is gonna be good... Booth: Shut up and let's continue. Both: *pouting* Fine, spoilt sport.)**

"Don't Ali me and I had 50 cups!" Alex responded.

"50 cups?" Jamie repeated.

"50 cups," Alex answered.

"Special coffee?" Jamie guessed.

"Special coffee," Alex replied.

"What's her special coffee?" questioned a very confused Brennan.

"You don't wanna know," Jamie and Booth responded together.

"Well, I put coffee with vodka and I get coffee vodka! Cause coffee + vodka = COFFEE VODKA!" Alex explained.

"Plus one very hyper Alex," Booth added.

"You know it," Alex sing-songed.

"I swear, one of these days, that's coffee's gonna kill you," Jamie muttered as she placed the cream pie in front of Booth.

"No it won't. Many have tried, this coffee has tried and they all failed! Because I'm Superman!" Alex crowed as she did a Superman pose...

And knocks Booth face-first into his cream pie. Brennan started laughing her ass off, Alex is dancing around singing, 'Coffee + vodka = coffee vodka! Dun-dun-dun' and Jamie was trying her hardest not to join Brennan in laughing her ass off.

"Wow. You really are high," Jamie said as she shook her head in shame for her friend.

"Well, I know that, you know that, Booth and his pie know that; but the dolphins don't know that," Alex sighed.

Just then, Booth's face finally emerged from the cream pie...covered in cream. It only made Brennan laugh harder and cause Jamie to let some giggles escape her lips...and to give Alex a very comtemplating look on her face. A look which didn't go unnoticed by her best friend.

"What are you thinking?" Jamie asked her friend, suddenly nervous.

"Oh, I'm just thinking of doing this," Alex responded as she slapped Booth and sent him flying towards Brennan...

Which causes them to end up in a passionate lip-lock. **(Bite-Me: For those who don't know what we mean... IceGirl2772: They're doing some spicy kissing. Bite-Me: You enjoyed saying that, didn't you? IceGirl2772: Yep. Bite-Me: ONWARD! IceGirl2772: You have a thing for onward, don't you? Bite-Me: Yep.) **Booth and Brennan didn't pull away and kept on snogging...

"Well, I was right," Alex boasted proudly.

"How do you know that?" Jamie asked.

"They haven't stopped kissing," Alex pointed out.

"Yeah, but how do you know they like each other?" Jamie questioned.

"Booth told me when he was drunk," Alex responded.

"You got him drunk?" Jamie repeated in disbelief.

"Not intentionally! He drank some of my coffee and you KNOW what happens when people drink my coffee!" Alex defended.

"Yes. Don't remind me," Jamie sighed.

Just then, the rest of the Squints walked in and stopped at the sight before them. Zack's mouth has dropped to the floor, Hodgins is singing, 'Whoop, whoop!' while doing fist pumps, Cam placed her hands in prayer formation and muttered to herself, 'Finally,' while looking up to the sky and Angela...well, she pulled out a camera out of nowhere **(Bite-Me: I love how we can make people brings things out of nowhere! It's so entertaining! IceGirl2772: I know, right?)** and was taking snapshots of the snogging couple whilst squealing her head off.

"Dude, if you have a camera, can I have the photos so I can blackmail my uncle?" Alex pleaded Angela as she jumped up and down on one of the barstool.

"Wait. Booth's your uncle?" Hodgins asked in disbelief.

"Well, duh. Can't you see that I look like him and he looks like me? And I'm psycotic because I have coffee!" Alex squealed.

"What's in your coffee?" Cam asked.

"Do I have to explain again?" Alex whined.

"Alex, here, mixes coffee with vodka and she gets coffee vodka," Jamie explained.

"EXACTLY!" Alex exclaimed.

Angela gives Alex photos of Booth and Brennan kissing and Alex discretely shoves the photos into her back pocket before anyone notices anything. Zack, meanwhile, is trying to stop himself from blushing at Alex who is STILL jumping around singing...

"Booth and Brennan sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G..."

"Dude, what are you doing?" Jamie asked.

"Well, you know I'm psycotic and I'm making them blush because LOOK AT THEIR FACES!" Alex exclaimed as she points towards the now-stopped kissing couple who are now blushing a deep shade of red that almost reminded them of a tomato. Brennan also had some cream on her face.

"Can I borrow that camera?" Jamie immediately asked Angela.

She didn't even give Angela the opportunity to respond. She yanked the camera out of her grasp and started taking photos.

"Um, sweetie, you have some pie on your face," Angela told Brennan whilst indicating to her upper lip.

"Same with you, princess. But it's all over you face," Alex added while poking Booth in the face.

"Princess?" Hodgins repeated whilst trying not to laugh.

"I call him that for reasons you will never find out," Alex responded.

"Want me to get some moist towellets?" Jamie asked her favourite non-couple.

"Please," Booth and Brennan responded greatfully.

Whilst laughing to herself, Jamie walked off to get the moist towellets. 5 minutes later, she came back with the towellets and NOT wearing her uniform.

"Where's your uniform?" Zack asked Jamie.

"My shift's over," Jamie responded as she handed the towellets to Booth and Brennan who took them greatfully.

Once Booth and Brennan's faces were clean, Brennan looked at the time for the first time since she stepped into the diner that day.

"Oh! We have to go do the paperwork!" Brennan exclaimed.

"Oh no," Booth groaned before suddenly pirking up and turning to his niece, "Wait. If I have to suffer, so do you!"

Booth leaned across the table and quickly kissed Brennan muttering, 'I'll see you later,' as he dragged his uncomplying 19-year-old niece out of the diner.

"NO! THIS IS INHUMANE! DON'T DO THIS TO ME!" Alex yelled whilst kicking and screaming as she got dragged out of the table by Booth.

"Wow," Hodgins finally let out.

"Whoa," Angela and Cam added.

"They really are alike," Zack pointed out.

"Except one's psycotic and the other one isn't," Jamie added.

"Hey, Jamester. Wanna hang out with us at the lab since your shift is over and Alex is too busy getting tortured by Booth?" Hodgins asked.

"Wouldn't Booth be torturing himself since he hates paperwork?" Brennan asked with a blank expression.

"Yeah, but he's also torturing Alex by forcing her to help him. And, sure. Why not? I might see Sweets again," Jamie responded dreamly.

"You do realise if Booth finds out that you're crazy in love **(Bite-Me: Crazy in love. I love that song...not really, but I like it anyway. IceGirl2772: I have that on my iPod Touch. Wanna listen? Bite-Me: Sure. Why not? Both: ONWARD!)** with Sweets, Booth's gonna whip out his gun and shoot the poor kid, right?" Cam asked.

"Well, I can always ask Alex to steal his gun and burn it to ashes," Jamie pointed out.

"Alex can burn a gun?" Brennan asked in disbelief.

"Alex can burn anything," Jamie responded.

"By the way, sweetie. You and I have to talk about those kisses you just shared with the FB-Eye candy," Angela told her.

"FB-Eye candy?" Jamie repeated confused.

"I'll explain later, honey," Angela assured Jamie.

And with that, the squints, with Jamie in toe, left the diner.  


* * *

**Bite-Me: Finally! We wrote something! Congradulations!**

**IceGirl2772: BTW, we're listening to Someone's Watching Over Me at the moment so we're a bit thingy over here.**

**Bite-Me: *munching on chips and taking gibberish***

**IceGirl2772: *singing to song***

**Bite-Me and IceGirl2772: ONWARD AND PLEASE REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

**IceGirl: HEY, HEY, HEY! WE ARE BACK!**

Bite-Me: THEY GET THE POINT! YOU SAID HEY! GET OVER IT!

IceGirl: *pouting* Fine. I'll go sulk on the couch.

Bite-Me: Good girl. Now where's Bones? BONES! TO THE DISCLAIMER!

Bones: Fine. I'll do the disclaimer but...

IceGirl: What?

Bite-Me: IceGirl, shut up.

Bones: You have to give me the photo you promised.

Bite-Me: Fine. Here. *gives her photo*

Bones: Bones belongs to FOX and NOT to them. *points to IceGirl and Bite-Me* They do own Alex, Jamie and the plot.

IceGirl: If we did, Booth and Brennan would've been together from the start and nobody would be dying next season...unless it's the serial killer they're gonna have in season 6 who's gonna be worse than Gormagon AND the GraveDigger or it's the GraveDigger's execution.

Bite-Me: ICEGIRL!

IceGirl: I know, I know. SHUT UP, ICEGIRL!

Bite-Me: Exactly. ONWARD!

Bones: You have a thing for onward, don't you?

Bite-Me: WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP ASKING ME THAT! IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO FIGURE OUT!

IceGirl: Can I stop sulking now?

Bite-Me: NO YOU MAY NOT!  
-  
The squints and Jamie walked into the lab arm-in-arm laughing about funny moments that have happened to them over the past 3 years.

"So when we came back, we looked like Clark Kent and Wonder Woman after a really bad date" Brennan finished.

Everyone started laughing even harder at the now-finished story. They stopped in front of the staircase for a moment so they can stop laughing and catch their breaths. Just then, Sweets appeared at the top of the staircase.

"Hey, guys. What's so-WHOA!" Sweets exclaimed as he tripped over his shoelace and fell down the stairs.

After tumbling down a few steps, Sweets finally reached the bottom of the staircase and accidentally knocked Jamie over. Jamie landed on the ground on her back and she gasped as Sweets landed on top of her. Their eyes were wide and they were in a passionate kiss. At precisely that moment, Alex and Booth appeared out of nowhere.

"50 points!" Hodgins and Alex exclaimed at the same time.

As soon as Booth saw Sweets and Jamie kissing passionately on the ground with Sweets on top of her, he immediately went into overprotective-father-mode.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing!" Booth boomed as he pulled Sweets off Jamie and pinned him against the wall.

"Booth, it's OK. Sweets tripped down the stairs and fell on top of me," Jamie desperately tried to reason with Booth.

"Then why were you KISSING!" Alex practically screamed.

Like we explained in the previous chapter, Booth considers Jamie like a daughter. She's also like a daughter to Brennan and a sister to Alex and the rest of the squints...except Sweets who's had a massive crush on her since he first laid eyes on her.

"It just happened, Agent Booth. I swear!" Sweets rasped (Booth is holding him against the wall by the neck).

"Uh-huh. Yeah, sure. I'm buying that," Booth responded sarcastically.

"It's the truth, sweetie," Angela agreed.

Brennan walked up to her partner and gently placed her hand against his forearm. She couldn't help but notice how Booth immediately relaxed underneath her touch.

"Don't scare the boy, Booth," Brennan pleaded.

Not-so-surprisingly, it wasn't the pleadings from Sweets or Jamie that gave Booth second thoughts. It was the pleading from BRENNAN, his partner for 3 years and his secret-lover. **(Bite-Me: You had to say that, didn't you? IceGirl: I couldn't help myself. ONWARD! *glares at Bite-me* *sarcastically* Gee. Thanks for getting ME into onward, dude. Bite-Me: You know you love me. *to readers* NOT IN THAT WAY! IceGirl: *sarcastically* No shit, Sherlock.)** Eventually, he let the poor psychologist go who crumbled to the floor in a heap gasping for air as he did so.

"Agent Booth, the way you got into your overprotective-father-mode so quickly proves that you consider and treat Jamie as your own daughter," Sweets commented.

"No shit, Sherlock," Booth responded sarcastically.

"That was so cool!" Alex exclaimed.

"Alex, shut up," Jamie warned.

"You know you love me, dude. That's how lovable I am...although I wish I could say that to Booth. But, he tortured me with PAPERWORK! THAT MAN IS EVIL! EVIL, I SAY!" Alex exclaimed.

"Did you have more special coffee?" Jamie asked worriedly.

"Why, yes. Yes I did," Alex responded.

"How many cups?" Jamie questioned.

"Ummm...20," Alex answered.

"SEELEY JOSEPH BOOTH, HOW COULD YOU LET YOUR NIECE HAVE 20 CUPS OF COFFEE VODKA!" Jamie exclaimed in disbelief.

"Whoa. Wait. 20!" Booth repeated.

"So what? I've had more than that before!" Alex pointed out.

"Yeah/true," Booth and Jamie muttured in agreement.

"Jamester, I bet you $50 bucks and a kiss that Alex cannot go one week without coffee. Wanna take the bet?" Hodgins offered to Jamie.

"You can never take my coffee vodka away from me!" Alex exclaimed as she clutched her thermo cup to her chest.

"Why do you always get to make the bets with Jamie?" Zack asked with a slight pout and his arms crossed over his chest like a stubben 5-year-old boy.

"Because I'm cooler than you and if it weren't for Booth, Sweets and Alex, I'd be closer to her than you," Hodgins retorted.

"I accept the bet. Although, the winner has to choose who the loser kisses," Jamie responded.

"Fine by me," Hodgins assured as he and Jamie shook hands.

"That'll be interesting to see. Last time Alex stopped having vodka coffee was 2 years ago for a special party for Jarad," Booth remarked.

"What happened?" Brennan asked.

"He took it away from me. I started acting and dressing girly," Alex pouted.

That caused Jamie to suddenly start laughing and collapse on the floor clutching her stomach and running around like a maniac.

"Gee. I love you too, Jamester," Alex remarked sarcastically.

"Sorry, dude. But the sight's just...," Jamie apologised who couldn't stop laughing.

"She has the cutest laugh," Sweets sighed dreamly.

"Excuse me?" Booth asked whilst giving Sweets a look that said, 'If you hit on her, you're dead.'

"Nothing, Agent Booth," Sweets stuttured.

Just then, a mobile started going off. Everyone started checking theirs and then suddenly realised it was Brennan's phone.

"It's Russ. I have to take this," Brennan announced as she walked away from the group and towards her office.

Booth admired her as he watched her leave. He sighed dreamly which caused Jamie and Alex to smile at each other.

"3, 2, 1," Jamie whispered.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! BOOTH, THERE'S A GUNNER IN HERE AND HE'S LOOKING FOR BRENNAN!" Jamie and Alex scramed.

"What! Where!" Booth exclaimed as he whipped out his gun and started looking around the area.

"PSYKE!" Jamie and Alex shouted as they hi-5ed each other laughing.

Booth put his gun away and glared at the laughing girls. Once they noticed the glare, Alex and Jamie finally stopped laughing.

"They got you that time, man," Hodgins remarked.

'_I come home in the morning light.  
My mother says when you're gonna live you life right?  
Oh mother dear, we're not the fortunate ones.  
Oh girls, they wanna have fun.  
Oh girls just wanna have fun._'

Everyone looked around when they heard Jamie's cell phone playing Cyndi Lauper's _Girls Just Wanna Have Fun_. They thought the radio has been turned on. Just then, Booth got an idea.

"Hey, guys. You know that karaoke bar the victim sang at before he died?" Booth asked.

"Yeah. Why?" Cam asked.

"Oh God. My uncle's thinking. WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Alex exclaimed.

"I think we should make Bones go up on that stage and sing _Girls Just Wanna Have Fun_. Sweets, remember how she mentioned that when she was younger, she wanted to be the next Cyndi Lauper?" Booth questioned the psycologist, ignoring his crazy and psychotic niece.

"I see what you're planning, Agent Booth," Sweets announced.

"You're finally gonna confess your dying love for her?" Alex asked hopefully.

"Alex," Booth warned.

"I know, I know. SHUT UP, ALEX!" Alex scolded herself.

"Good girl," Jamie commented.

Alex just shrugged and took another swig of her coffee vodka, which suddenly made Booth and Jamie nervous.

"When?" Angela asked.

"Tonight," Booth responded.

"I've been meaning to dare Jamie to sing there for ages," Alex remarked.

"You know I can't sing," Jamie defended.

"Are you kidding me? You have the best voice," Alex retorted.

"You sing?" Sweets asked surprised.

"I haven't really sung much since my Mum died," Jamie explained.

"Come on, Jamester. Have some fun for a change," Hodgins encouraged.

"OK, OK. But AFTER Brennan has her turn," Jamie sighed defetedly.

"Than it's settled. Tonight, we all meet up at the karaoke bar at 7," Booth told them.

"I'm there," Alex and Zack announced.

"Count us in," Jamie and Sweets told him.

"Like we're gonna miss this," Angela and Hodgins scoffed.

"I've got no plans tonight," Cam assured him.

"Alright. Nobody mention this to Bones, alright. I want it to be a surprise," Booth instructed them.

"Want what to be a surprise?" Brennan asked, which made Booth jump 6-feet and scream like a girl.

"Damnit. That was sooooo a video camera moment!" Alex pouted.

"Alex, did you have more coffee?" Brennan asked, nervously.

"No shit, Sherlock," Alex responded sarcastically.

"Oi! Be nice to my partner!" Booth scolded.

"Whatever, lover boy," Alex muttured.

"Dr Brennan, why don't you take the rest of the afternoon off?" Cam suggested out of the blue.

"OK," Brennan shrugged.

"That was easy!" Jamie remarked.

Booth kissed Brennan and then she left. Angela, Jamie and Alex squealed, which caused everyone else to block their ears.

"Anyways, back to the plan..."  
**-  
IceGirl: Well, that's the end of another chapter.**

Bite-Me: ICEGIRL! I DID NOT SAY YOU COULD STOP SULKING!

IceGirl: I stopped sulking ages ago, dude.

Bite-Me: YOU ONLY STOP SULKING WHEN I SAY SO!

IceGirl: Whatever. *resumes sulking*

Bite-Me: Now that's out of the way...

Both: REVIEW!

Bite-Me: ICEGIRL!

IceGirl: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, I know. *sulks*

Bite-Me: Good girl.


	3. Chapter 3

**Bite-me: hi ya people, before we start rambling and the someone yells at us to start the story Icegirl and me would like for you to know that in this almighty fic of ours (Incegirl: full of yourself, aren't we) be quiet Icegirl, any way in this fic we have made it so that Zack is not in the loony bin because he is just to lovable to be there. And just so u people know there will be some people gestating in this fic (Icegirl: LIKE JUSTEN BEBER!), yes like him.. sadly if he is not in this fic Icegirl will kill me but it shall be fun, anyway on with the random ness.**

**Icegirl: WAIT! I have an idea before we start the story.**

**Bite-me: you have an idea…PEOPLE RUE FOR YOUR LIVES THE APOCALIPS IS COMING!**

**Icegirl: Bite-me will you be serious.**

**Bite-me: but I don't want to be serious, I want to be Dumbledore. (Pouts in a corner)**

**Icegirl: oh brother what am I going to do with you?**

**Bite-me: Love me, Feed me, Never leave me. XD**

**Icegirl: lolz, just find someone to do the declaimer so we can start the story,**

**Bite-me: Yes mother =P (looks around, sees a closet, then pulls Zack out of the closet) hi ya Zack say the declaimer.**

**Zack: Icegirl and Call-1800-Bite-Me don't own Bones if they did it would result in a worldwide catastrophe.**

**Icegirl and Bite-me: you're so caring Zack (gives Zack death glair)**

**Zack: what it is 100.99% true.**

**Icegir: what happened to the other 0.01%?**

**Zack: Bite-me ate it.**

**Bite-me: he he…. (scratches the back of her head) ON WITH THE STORY!**

*one week later, at Booths house*

"Hay Booth where's all the bread….. HOLY SHIT ITS JUBA THE HUT!" screamed Alex pointing a finger at the towel covered lump on the floor that just fell out of the bathroom. "Oh wait it's just Booth, I was hoping to see juba the hut." She said with disappointment as the steam cleared to reveal Booth face down on the floor.

"Alex how much coffee have you had and have you been watching star wars the clone wars agene?" asked a disgruntled Booth as he picked himself up off the floor. "She has had no coffee for one week and we had a star wars marathon last night if you remember." Jamie answered for Alex as she popped her around the corner. "! JAMIE WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE?" Asked/shouted Booth bringing his towel up to his chest. "I slept over in Alex's room remember?" asked Jamie. "God Booth you shore are skater brined today, oh and unk you should be covering your lower area not your upper area." Said Alex "and why is that?"

"Because you got no boobs, shish you such a girl sum times." "Whatever, holed up what are you wearing?" asked Booth with a shocked expression on his face as he realised that his tomboy of a niece was wearing a light blue strapless dress, silver flats and had her hair up in a messy bun. "Well as you can see I'm wearing a dress, dah, now get dressed we have to get to the karaoke bar." Explaned Alex as she walked out of the room. "What happened to my tomboy of a niece?" asked a confused Booth. "This is what happens when she doesn't have coffee" explained Jamie as she left the room to go find her bag. "Shit my niece is NOT going out in that, who knows how many guys will be looking at her! Shit Alex get back here have some coffee or something you not going out like that, ALEX!" shouted Booth as he went straight into overprotective uncial mode and ran after Alex while losing his tole in the progress.

*At the karaoke bar*

Every one met up at the bar, much to the displacer of Booth Alex was still wearing the same cloths as before, Jamie was wearing a weight short sleeve dress, black vest, her glasses and a pair of black Mary-Jain shows, she decide to leave her hear out. Booth had a black t-shirt on, faded denim jeans and was wearing converse that he took from Alex. Cam was wearing a nice black strapless dress with black high heels and black tights, Angela was wearing a black mini-skirt (which is causing Hodgins to drool), a green boob tube top and black stiletto heels. Hodgins was wearing blue jeans, a faded blue button-up shirt and white sneakers and Sweets and Zack were wearing are wearing the same clothes as usual because they're hopeless.

At that precise moment, Brennan walked into the karaoke bar with a certain teenage heartthrob (Bite-Me: we all know how it is, Icegirl you owe me for this, Icegirl: THANK YOU!) Booth and Alex looked at each other and realised what was going to happen.

"Oh dear God. Jamie, don't even think about it," Booth and Jamie pleaded.

"! IT'S JUSTIN BIEBER! !" Jamie squealed.

"I think I just went deaf," Alex announced as she rubbed her tender ears.

"Who is that creepo and what gives him the right to steal my girl?" Sweets growled.

"Wait. She's your girl?" Hodgins asked confused.

"You shouldn't have said that out loud. Well, how can I put this nicely? You're screwed…well, after my uncle finished killing that poor, poor, innocent chi-. Wait. Is that vodka?" Alex suddenly asked as she started drooling over the bottle of vodka, "I think I like this child. I'll be back."

"Wait! I'm coming with you!" Jamie called out.

"No. You sit. Wait. This is the perfect opportunity to get back at my uncle for being a pain in my butt and yelling at me this morning. TO THE VODKA BOY!" Alex exclaimed as she grabbed Jamie's wrist and dragged her over.

"His name's Justin Bieber!" Jamie corrected.

"I don't care! He has vodka so he's now Vodka Boy! Now, are you coming or not?" Alex asked impatiently.

"I'M COMING!" Jamie squealed as she glomped Justin Bieber.

"Wow. This is interesting. Booth, are you alive?" Brennan asked worriedly as she noticed her partner/secret lover twitching in his seat.

"Um…Jamie, he can't breathe and he's turning purple," said Alex wearily.

"But I'm hugging him," Jamie pouted.

"SWEETS, HELP ME GET HER OFF THIS POOR INNOCENT CHILD! HE'S, LIKE, DYING!" Alex shouted so the whole world could hear.

"Gladly," Sweets responded eagerly as he went and pulled Jamie away from Justin.

"Bitch," Jamie pouted.

"I'm not a bitch. I'm Jesus," Alex retorted.

Then, Booth went over to have a 'special' talk with Jamie. (IceGirl: Wow. This is gonna be weird. Bite-Me: I really need some nachos right now… Both: ONWARD!)

"hay are you ok, whit what am I wearing, hay I look good in this….. Wait say WHAT!" shouted Alex as she ran over to the bar got some vodka and then sprinted over to Hodgins and stole his money, then gave it to Jamie.

At that precise moment, Booth and Brennan looked at each other for 5 milliseconds before they started groping each other and making out like crazy. Alex, Jamie and Justin were just watching the sight in front of them with wide eyes and dropped jaws.

"This is so wrong on so many levels. Wait. Does this make her my aunty now? If she's my aunty, that means she's your mum. Suck it, Jamie!" Alex exclaimed before doing an evil.

"How is she my mother?" asked a very confused Jamie.

"Well, Booth sees you like a daughter and so does Brennan so therefore, I'm your cousin and the world goes on! Wait. Where's Zack? He can't see this. SOMEBODY COVERS HIS EYES!" Alex screamed.

"Already on it, sweetie," said Angela as both Angela and Cam covered Zack's eyes.

"I so owe you guys," Alex pointed out.

"YAY! SHOPPING!" squealed an excited Angela and Cam.

"Oh dear God. What have I done?" Alex asked herself for no apparent reason.

"why is it so dark?" asked a very confused Zack.

"So…," Justin started.

"Well…," Jamie started.

"This is very awkward," Justin remarked.

"You can say that again," Jamie agreed.

"Reckon you could help me?" Justin asked.

"What do I to do?" Jamie asked eagerly.

"I can see you clearly like that guy over there," Justin started as he pointed to Sweets.

"Yes," Jamie agreed with a blush on her face.

"How about we make a deal? If we pretend to be boyfriend/girlfriend and make him jealous, will you give me info about your friend?" Justin offered.

"Which friend? I have many," Jamie pointed out.

"The one that's poking that guy in the face with a stick," Justin responded.

"This is so entertaining!" Alex squealed.

"Alex, where'd you get the stick?" Jamie asked.

"I found it next to a hobo on the street," Alex answered.

"O…K," Jamie said wearly.

"Not really. I found it in a park and decided to poke Hodgins in the face just to piss him off cause he owes me $20! And he still hasn't paid!" Alex explained.

"That is so hot," Justin sighed.

"Justin, you've got yourself a deal," Jamie agreed as she shook his hand.

Justin suddenly pulled her to him and they started making out. Everyone was watching with dropped jaws. Booth and Sweets were twitching in their seats and Hodgins decided to yell out, "Awkward!" Angela, Cam and Alex were screaming their poor heads off.

"Um…Cam, Angela, isn't that the crazy stalker chick that you guys told me about? You know, the one that looks like a giant, fat panda although pandas are cuter?" Alex asked as she pointed to the woman who just came into the bar.

"I think so," Angela responded.

"Hold on, how is that weirdo still alive?" said a very confused Alex.

"I do not know sweetie" said Angela.

"holy shit she has a gun!" exclaimed Cam.

"SWEETIE, LOOK OUT!" Angela screamed.

Booth and Brennan stopped making out in time to see Pam with a gun aimed at Brennan. Booth went to take the shot, but Brennan didn't want to suffer from déjà vu so she pushed Booth out of the way and the bullet went through her chest…

TO BE CONTINUED…  
**-  
IceGirl: Yeah. We know. We're evil.**

**Bite-Me: You'll get over it.**

**Both: Plus, it'll make you wanna read it even more. *insert evil laugh here***


	4. Chapter 4

**IceGirl: OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG!**

Bite-Me: SHUT UP, ICEGIRL!

IceGirl: BONES JUST GOT SHOT! THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING *starts sobbing dramatically* ! WHY, LORD, WHY?

Bite-Me: *confused* When did she become like me?

IceGirl: *returns back to normal* Bite-Me, you're my Jedi Master and I'm your Padawan, remember?

Bite-Me: True.

IceGirl: Who should we make say the disclaimer?

Bite-Me: *whispers it to me*

IceGirl: *grins wickedly* Leave them to me. I know exactly how to draw them in. *grabs picture of B/B doing...things that we shouldn't be seeing* *sing-song* Booth, Bones...

Bite-Me: *sing-song* Say the disclaimer or...

IceGirl and Bite-Me: CERTAIN PICTURES OF YOU TWO TOGETHER WILL BE LEAKED!

Booth and Bones: *races in* YOU WOULDN'T!

IceGirl and Bite-Me: Oh yes we would.

Booth: Ladies first.

Bones: Due to fortunate (IceGirl and Bite-Me: UNFORTUNATE!) circumstance...

Booth: IceGirl2772 and Call-1800-Bite-Me don't own ANYTHING related to the show.

Bones: They do own two OCs...

Booth: And other random shit.

Booth and Bones: NOW GIVE THE PICTURES BACK!

Bite-Me: YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO CATCH US FIRST!

IceGirl: Enjoy the chapter while we runaway with random pics of Booth and Bones together with the actual people chasing us.

Bite-Me: Ice, we just went over a page.

IceGirl: *says every cuss word in the book*

Bite-Me: LANGUAGE, YOUNG LADY!

IceGirl and Bite-Me: Anyways... ! *runs off with Bones and Booth chasing us*  
-  
"!" Booth screamed with tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Oh my God!" Angela, Cam, Jamie and Alex gasped.

"Am I really seeing this?" a very shocked and confused Justin Bieber asked.

"This is not happening. This is not happening," Sweets murmured to himself repeatedly.

"Oh no," Zach breathed.

"Zach, call 911!" Hodgins instructed.

"Die, bitch, die!" Pam exclaimed before doing an evil cackle.

"YOU MOTHER-FUCKING BITCH!" Jamie screeched as she walked up to Pam and gave that bitch a hooker to the face, "That's for hurting the closest person I've ever had to a mother!"

Both Justin and Sweets were holding Jamie back as she struggled against their tight grip so she could assault the assalant even more. In the end, she finally relented and she collapsed to the ground in heavy sobs. Sweets immediately pulled her into his arms as she wailed even more. Occassionally, he would let a tear or two escape before finally breaking down into sobs with her.

"Oh, by the way," Alex started before she walked up to Pam and gave her a bitch slap across the face, "That's for making my best friend cry and my uncle act like a pussy!"

"That is so hot," Justin sighed dreamly, causing him to earn a very, very, VERY stange look from one Alex Booth.

"You're gonna be fine, Bones. You're gonna be fine," Booth kept on muttering as he cradled her in his arms and tried to stop the bleeding.

"I only wish I could...agree...with you," Brennan confessed inbetween sharp gasps in pain.

"Temperance Christine Brennan, you are not going to die! I will not let you go! You hear me? Angela needs you, Zach needs you, Jamie needs you and everyone needs you! Especially me. I need you, Bones. I need you more than anything! I need you to be my partner, I need you to be my best friend, I need you to argue with me, I need you to correct me constantly, I need to see you smile, catch killers with me and I need you to...give me somebody to love.

Dr Temperance Christine 'Bones' Brennan, I am in love with you! I love you more than anything! Every morning, I wake up with a smile on my face because it means I get to see you. Every time we are apart, I come crashing down! Every girl that I start a fling with, I always compare them with you and think that they're not the real thing. YOU'RE the real thing, Bones. You are my whole existance! I love you and I need you! Please stay with me, Bones!" Booth pleaded.

However, his confessions and pleas only fell onto deaf ears. He didn't realise it, but everything just became too much to Brennan. Her body went limp in his arms. She fell unconscious; she possibly died.

"! !" Angela screamed as she started wailing in Hodgins' arms, who happened to be crying as well.

Cam is crying and gasping as she tried to regain composure. Jamie and Sweets are sobbing in each other's arms. Alex and Zach are doing the same thing. Pam escaped during the whole emotional breakdown. At that precise moment, Justin ran in with EMTs behind him.

"Come on! Let's get her to the hospital!" one of them shouted as they yanked Brennan out of Booth's arms and placed her on the stretcher.

He held her hand the entire time. However, when they got to the ambulance, he was stopped by the second EMT.

"I'm sorry, sir. But only family can ride," she said apoligetically.

"I am FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth! That woman is Dr Temperance Brennan, who is my partner! And I also happen to have her power of attorney!" Booth explained furiously.

"I'm sorry, Agent Booth. But the rules are clear. Only family-."

"I'm her fiance," Booth lied.

"Did we miss something here?" Alex and Jamie asked curiously.

"Oh. My apoligies, Agent Booth. Step right in," she instructed.

Booth wasted no time. As soon as he was in, they shut the doors and sped to the hospital. They all followed in Justin's limousine. Moments later, they are now sitting in the waiting room...well, waiting. Max and Russ, Amy and her young daughters have heard of this unfortunate incident and came as fast as they could. Even Justin stuck around. But, he only did that so he could gawk at Alex, who is too busy comforting her best friend with Sweets to even notice.

"Where's that fucking doctor?" Booth hissed.

"Whoa! Language!" Alex scolded.

"I don't give a shit, Alex!" Booth boomed.

"It's OK. We're used to this," Haley assured him, only to earn shocked looks from Amy and Russ.

"Seeley, just give him time," Cam instructed soothingly.

"Miss Temperance Brennan!" the doctor called out as she walked in.

"DOCTOR BRENNAN!" everyone corrected as they stood up and approached her.

"I'm Doctor Stephan. I have news concerning Dr Brennan. However, not all of it is good..."

TO BE CONTINUED!  
**-  
IceGirl and Bite-Me: *insert evil cackle here***

Bite-Me: Yeah. We know. We did the same thing we did last chapter because we're evil.

IceGirl: But it makes you want to read it more. Does it? Huh? Does it?

Bite-Me: Ice, I think they get it.

IceGirl: They'd better.

Bite-Me: Ice, you can't even hurt a fly.

IceGirl: *grumbling* No need to rub it in my face.

Bite-Me: Well, now we have to go do crazy stuff.

IceGirl: Want more? REVIEW!

Bite-Me: Where's Booth and Bones?

IceGirl: Doing things I shouldn't hear about.

Bite-Me: DID YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT?

IceGirl: Why, yes. Yes I did.

IceGirl and Bite-Me: BUH-BYE!

IceGirl: HAVE A NICE TRIP!

Bite-Me: Hit it, Ice!

*we dance to random music*


	5. Chapter 5

**IceGirl: Hey, hey, hey! We are back and rockin' this story, baby!**

**Bite-Me: You continue to tell yourself that. *resumes drinking cola from giant bottle***

**IceGirl: Bite-Me, bite me.**

**Bite-Me: Bite yourself. I'm busy! *continues drinking***

**IceGirl: Is that all you care about?**

**Bite-Me: *in posh accent* Yes, yes it is because school's over and I have a bottle of cola. Now, is someone gonna say the disclaimer or is somebody going to get hit by a pen? OK, you. *continues drinking bottle***

**IceGirl: What's with the accent?**

**Bite-Me: *whining* I don't know. Where's Cam?**

**IceGirl: Are you talking about a camera?**

**Bite-Me: No, you retard! I'm talking about the character from Bones. CAM, SAY THE DISCLAIMER PLEASE!**

**Cam: OK.**

**Bite-Me: *in background* YES! BEING NICE WORKS! *continues drinking***

**Cam: Much to our pleasure,**

**IceGirl and Bite-Me: MEANIE!**

**Cam: These two crazy writers do not own anything that is related to Bones which rightfully belongs to Fox.**

**IceGirl: If we did, Booth and Brennan would have hooked up already.**

**Bite-Me: *burps* Don't care. ONWARD WITH THE STORY! *finishes bottle***

**Cam: *goes to IceGirl* Bite-Me has issues.**

**IceGirl: You don't have to put up with her.**

**Bite-Me: YOU'RE MY PADAWAN!**

**IceGirl: Star Wars?**

**Bite-Me: Yes.**

**IceGirl and Bite-Me: ONWARD!**

**IceGirl: *starts singing Justin Bieber songs***

**Bite-Me: You have issues.**

"Just tell us, doc. We can take it," Booth promised.

Alex snorted before saying, "You wish. Somebody get the tissues…at least for Booth anyway. *notices glares* Hey! You're the girly man in this relationship!"

"Are you sure you're not talking about yourself, dude?" Jamie asked.

"Nope. I wear the pants in every relationship. He wears a skirt," Alex retorted.

Insert Hodgins laughing his ass off in the background only to get a slap on the back of the head by Angela.

"OK, awkward," said the doctor, "I'm very sorry to tell you this-."

"CUT THE CRAP!" everyone yelled.

"Dr Brennan is suffering from a severe case of…internal bleeding and is in a coma. We don't know when she'll wake up. Actually, we don't know IF she will wake up and will possibly need a blood transfusion," announced the doctor.

"! WWWWWHHHHHYYYYY?" Booth then started wailing like a newborn baby.

"My uncle is a pussy, and that's putting it nicely," Alex remarked.

Hodgins then proceeded in killing himself laughing to be hit, once again, by Angela on the back of the head. While this was happening, Justin Bieber is sitting in the corner wondering what the hell is going on.

"Is he always like this?" Justin asked Jamie.

"Only when Brennan's involved," Jamie replied with a shrug.

"Hey, uncle!" Alex exclaimed.

"Stop crying! It's sad!" Hodgins added.

"Sweetie, what kind of blood type are you?" Angela asked.

"B-," Booth answered.

"WE HAVE A DONOR!" Hodgins and Zack cheered.

"Bye, have a nice life," Jamie and Alex.

"Oh God. I'm hanging out with you too much," Jamie muttered.

"Yep. I'm gonna go grab a coke, anybody need anything?" Alex asked.

"Wait a minute. You're actually ditching coffee vodka?" Jamie asked in disbelief.

"I'm not touching that stuff until she's better. Besides, it's kinda bad for you. At least, that's what the doctor said when he looked at me. It's kinda creepy," Alex shrugged before approaching the vending machine, "Justina, stop looking at my friend's ass!"

"He's looking past my ass," Jamie stated.

"He's definitely not looking at mine! His eyes are in another direction! Oh my God. Is he gay?" Alex asked.

"WHAT?" everyone shouted.

"He's looking at Hodgins in a weird way!" Alex defended.

"HE'S/I'M NOT GAY!" shouted Jamie and Justin at the same time.

"OK, I'm sorry. I just assumed things! I will never call him gay again! Now stop looking weirdly at me! I'm going to get coke!" Alex sort of whined before heading towards the vending machine.

_**1 month later…**_

"Hey, princess, you smell bad and have a beard. Go have a shower!" Alex pleaded.

"I agree with her, sweetie. You need a shower," Angela agreed.

"I second that motion," Jamie added.

"Same here," Cam added.

"Ha! See, all the girls in the room agree. You need a shower!" Alex decided.

"Plus, we're pretty sure Brennan doesn't want to see you like that when she wakes up," Jamie added.

"Hey, Alex! I bet you $20 that if she sees him like that, she's gonna crack up laughing," Hodgins challenged.

"You're on, numnuts," Alex said as they shook hands.

"MY NUTS ARE NOT NUMB!" Hodgins defended.

"I can always get Angela to check," Alex challenged.

Both Hodgins and Angela's faces went bright red and muffled laugher could be heard from both Sweets and Zack.

"Guys! Shut the hell up! She's waking up!" Jamie cheered.

"Yes, master!" Alex responded with a hint of laughter.

Booth immediately shot up in his seat and faced Brennan who is just beginning to stir and open her eyes.

"Oh crap. I feel like I got hit by a bus," Brenan grumbled, "Well, that or I smacked into the wall of a pyramid. Ew, what's that smell?"

"Ha! She didn't crack up laughing when she saw him!" Alex cheered, "You owe me $20, Hodgins!"

"Will you two ever stop betting on people's lives?" Cam asked.

"Never," Alex and Hodgins said at the same time.

"Hey, sweetie. Welcome back. You've been in a coma for a month and Booth has never left your side," Angela explained.

"Not even for a shower. That's why he smells like a dirty hobo!" Jamie and Alex added.

"What's a hobo?" Zack asked.

"Zack, young padawan, we have so much to teach you," Alex sighed.

"Star Wars?" Zack guessed.

"Yes. You should know by now I watch it 24/7 every day of my life," Alex replied.

"Booth, have a shower," Brennan requested.

"Yes, ma'am," Booth responded with a salute before running off for a shower.

"Wow. You have him whipped," Jamie remarked.

"Sweetie, can you show me how to do that?" Angela asked.

Her response? The look of confusion on Brennan's face.

_**1 more month later…**_

"GUYS! GUYS! GUYS! GUYS! GUYS! GUYS! I SOUND LIKE A BIRD! GUYS!" Alex shouted as she ran into the lab…

Where everyone is sitting on wheelie chairs…except for Jamie who is sitting on Justin's lap.

"What is it? And please tell me you didn't have sugar!" Jamie pleaded.

"Well, if coke counts as sugar, sorry. Well, anyway, I have a case file!" Alex announced as she pulled out a blue folder out of nowhere.

"Please tell me that doesn't involve paperwork," Booth begged.

"That will come later and you'll be doing it all by yourself," Alex said in a baby voice that made Zack's and Justin's face go red, "Hey! Where's my blue wheelie chair? WHO STOLE MY CHAIR?"

"Sorry," Zack apologised.

"It's OK. I'll just sit on you whilst drinking coke. As long as my wheelie chair is safe, all is right with the world. And let it be known throughout the land that Zack and I are the only ones allowed to sit in this wheelie chair. Anybody else who tries to sit in this chair will die a slow and painful death. That means you too, Jamie! You sit in this chair, you die!" Alex exclaimed.

"But I'm your best friend!" Jamie reminded her.

"I don't care. It's my chair!" Alex retorted.

"Then why is he allowed to sit in it?" Jamie asked.

"OK. Reason number 1: he's allowed to. Reasong number 2: he has a comfy lap. *at this point, Zack's face is bright red* And reason number 3: I said so. So HA!" Alex said.

"No fair!" Jamie whined.

"Life's not fair!" Alex retorted.

"Can you two stop arguing so we can get on with the case?" Cam asked as she walked in.

"Yes. I got this file. It says something about a Gravedigger. You know, somebody who digs a grave, puts people in it while they're still alive and it's not very pretty," Alex said.

"Since when were things pretty to you?" Hodgins asked.

"Since I started wearing this blue dress and drinking coke. That's when," Alex responded while drinking from her 2L bottle of coke and getting herself comfy on Zack's lap.

"My little girl's wearing dresses!" Booth cried, "GET OFF THAT BOY'S LAP!"

"Well, I think it's pretty because I think it's pretty. And 2: he's lap's comfy and look at his face! He's cute!" Alex defended as she hugged Zack's face.

"ZACK, GET YOUR HEAD OFF MY NIECE'S BOOB!" Booth exclaimed.

"He's not doing it on purpose, sweetie," Angela defended.

"Face boob!" Hodgins cheered as he appeared from behind Angela.

At this point in time, Justin and Jamie are in a heated make-out session. Hodgins is enjoying the show, Zack is still getting face-boobed and liking it (nobody knows that), Alex is laughing her ass off while still face-boobing Zack, Angela's shocked, Cam is just standing there wondering what's going on and is quite worried because Sweets looks like he's about to explode.

"Sweets," Alex started.

"WHAT?" Sweets squeaked.

"Ow, my ear. Stop acting like a Gremlin and grow some and tell her before she ends up marrying him!" Alex cried.

"Jamie, will you marry me?" Justin suddenly asked.

"You know we weren't meant to go that far," Jamie whispered in his ear.

"It's making his face go red," Justin whispered back, "Just say yes."

"Don't you dare say that word! You're too young!" Booth butted in.

"Wow. Booth's in parent mode. Stand back and be shocked!" Alex exclaimed.

"Who's doing what now?" Brennan asked as she walked in.

"Justin is proposing to Jamie," Booth explained.

"No you're not! You're too young!" Brennan objected.

"That's just what Booth said," Cam said.

"OK. Enough with the sassiness! You're not getting married so that's official! Let's get over to the conversation about case files, grave digging and stuff," Alex said.

Jamie goes to say 'yes' but Alex suddenly said,

"You say the 'y' word, I will destroy your diary, your books, your Twilight books, whatever other books you have with tomato sauce along with your computers getting hacked to and crashed. And you realise that all your writings are on that computer and they will be destroyed. *insert evil laugh*"

"You wouldn't dare," Jamie challenged.

"If the Gremlin over there is going to explode, *points towards Sweets* then yes. Yes I will," Alex responded.

"I would love to marry you," Jamie sighed.

"You do realise I know all about that little plan of yours? *gets more comfy in Zack's lap* I just have to say the word and you're screwed," Alex threatened.

"Oh dear God," Jamie gasped.

"Yep. You're screwed," Alex vowed.

"Waaaaaah! My baby girl's growing up!" Booth wailed.

"Stop crying, you man-lady!" Alex cried.

"Now onto the case," Cam butted in.

"OK," Jamie sighed before making out with her fiancé.

Cam then brought out very disturbing photos to the case which made Brennan turn her head into Booth's chest (IceGirl and Bite-Me: So cute!) and Alex yells out,

"ZACK IS NOT SEEING THIS! HE'S TOO INNOCENT!"

She then turns the wheelie chair around so he can't see the photos and she straddles him so that he sees her boobs and she sees the photos.

"What the hell are you doing?" Booth demanded.

"I'm making sure he doesn't see these photos!" Alex responded.

"But he's staring at your boobs!" Booth objected.

"MY BOOBS ARE BETTER THAN THAT CRAP!" Alex retorted.

"She's got you there," Hodgins laughed.

"GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF MY NIECE'S BOOBS!" Booth commanded.

"STOP BEING A RETARD! And stop bullying Zack! He's mine!" Alex yelled.

This causes Sweets to laugh, Brennan, Angela and Cam to giggle because they think it is cute, Booth to get pissed along with Justin and Jamie and Hodgins to hi-5 each other.

To be continued…

**IceGirl: Yes. We're retarded. You'll get over it in your own time.**

**Bite-Me: Now, if you want us to continue with this retarded story, PLEASE REVIEW!**

**IceGirl: Yeah. What she said.**

**Bite-Me: I'M NOT A SHE! Oh wait. I am.**

**IceGirl and Bite-Me: BYE AND PLEASE REVIEW! *gives readers puppy dog eyes* Please?**


	6. Chapter 6

**IceGirl: *humming Justin Bieber songs***

Bite-Me: Stop humming Justin Bieber or I will kill you.

IceGirl: Don't make threats you can't keep, Bite-Me.

Bite-Me: *whining* But it's cool!

IceGirl: Again, be serious.

Bite-Me: Again, I want to be Dumbledore.

IceGirl: Dumbledore IS serious! I just can't sleep tonight, knowing that things ain't right. It's in the papers, it's on the TV; it's everywhere that I go. Children are crying, soldiers are dieing; some people don't have a home. But I know there's sunshine beyong that rain. I know there's good times beyond that pain.

Bite-Me: Oh for Pete's sake.

IceGirl: I close my eyes and I can see a better day. I close my eyes and pray. I close my eyes and I can see a better day. *gets gagged by Bite-Me*

Bite-Me: I warned you.

IceGirl: *muffled* Dude!

Bite-Me: Don't say I didn't warn ya. Anyways...BOOTH! TO THE DISCLAIMER!

Booth: Why should I?

Bite-Me: *evil cackle*

IceGirl: *holds up certain blackmail*

Booth: Will you quit the blackmail thing?

Bite-Me and IceGirl: NO WE WILL NOT!

Booth: Fine. Thankfully, IceGirl2772 and Call-1800-Bite-Me do not own anything related to Bones which rightfully belongs to FOX. But they do own Jamie and Alex.

IceGirl and Bite-Me: ONWARD!  
-  
The pitch black. The sweat. The fear. The gasping breath. It was truly a horrific sight. But then Tenperance Brennan turned on the small light in the car. She looked battered and bruised. And the most obvious injury was the burn mark she had on the back of her neck from a 2 million volt stun gun someone used on her. She then took in her surroundings.

She knew she was in a car. That was obvious. She could tell from the steering wheel and the structure. But she didn't know where she was. She looks out the window and saw nothing but brown and more darkness. She then rolled the window down only to have dirt pour inside. Gasping as the dirt landed in her lap, she immediately rolled the window back up so no more of that cursed substance could find its way inside the vehicle and possibly cause suffocation. She then heard someone groan her name. She turned towards the back seat and saw Jamie lying in the back seat looking purple, blue, a tinge of yellow and lots of red. Well, the red substance that we need to survive stained her entire body. As for the bruises, those were an added bonus and were covering certain parts of her body.

"Jamie!" Brennan gasped, "Jamie, are you alright?"

"No. I feel like I've been run over by a car," Jamie groaned, "Where are we?"

"We're underground," Brennan responded.

"You mean...," Jamie trailed off as she slowly realised what has happened.

"We're buried alive. It's the Gravedigger, Jamie. She got us," Brennan gasped.

12 hours earlier...

"Even though the title should be obvious, I don't know who the Gravedigger is," Alex confessed.

"The Gravedigger is someone who surprises random people by sneaking up behind them, using a 2 million volt stun gun on the back of their necks and buries them alive," Booth started.

"A few years ago, the remains of 13-year-old twin boys were found in some sort of capsule. They were victims of the Gravedigger. She only intended to take one of the twins but when she ran down the other twin, she took them both and buried them alive," Brennan continued.

"The Gravedigger then leaves a voicemail message to someone who' connected to the victim(s) demanding millions of dollars to an offshore account, leaving them 24 hours to do so," Cam went on.

"But if two people end up kidnapped at the same time, the time is halved," Angela added.

"When we first went against the Gravedigger, Dr Brennan and I ended up buried alive. Booth, Angela, Zack and Cam managed to save us by finding the puff of smoke in the ground where we were buried," Hodgins boasted.

"2 years later, the Gravedigger made a comeback, kidnapped Booth and trapped him on a ship that was expected to be blown up. But thanks to Booth's brother, Jarad, Dr Brennan managed to save him," Sweets announced.

"It was also where we learned the identity of the Gravedigger: Heather Taffet," Booth added.

"The case went to court, but Booth, Hodgins and I had our charges dropped so we could investigate and be expert witnesses for the case of Terrance Gilroy," Brennan went on.

"Thankfully, she pleaded guilty for both the kidnapper and the murder of Terrance," Cam remarked.

"The last time we heard from her, she was waiting for her sentence," Angela finished.

"Well, now the Gravedigger's out of prison and is making a comeback," Jamie realised.

"Well, it's true she's escaped from prison, but this might have been done years ago," Alex pointed out.

"Whoa! Since when are you serious?" Zack asked.

"I'm not serious! I'm Dumbledore!" Alex pouted.

"Dude, Dumbledore IS serious!" Jamie retorted.

"No he's not!" Alex corrected.

"GUYS!" Brennan shouted.

"Sorry," Jamie and Alex grumbled.

"People! We have a case to work on!" Cam reminded everyone.

"Where is the body?" Hodgins asked.

Alex whistled before screaming, "Bring it in, boys!"

Various FBI agents then walked in wheeling a gourney with a body bag on top and various pieces of evidence from soil samples to the container the remains were found.

"Whoa! He was buried alive in an actual coffin!" Justin exclaimed, "Cool!"

"I'll go distract Justin," Jamie announced.

"Where are we going?" Justin asked.

"The Egyption Storage Room," Jamie answered before they walked away.

"Wha-wait. Where?" Booth demanded.

"Egyption Storage Room. They're probably gonna do 'it'," Angela responded.

"OVER MY DEAD BODY THEY WILL!" Booth boomed as he chased them, "JUSTIN! JAMIE! COME BACK HERE!"

"Well, whilst that is going on, Dr Brennan, Zack and I have remains to investigate," Cam stated as she and Brennan left.

"Alex, can you please stop face-boobing me and let me get up?" Zack pleaded.

"Fine," Alex grumbled as she got up.

But before she left, she kissed him on the lips.

"50 POINTS!" Hodgins exclaimed.

"Why did you do that?" Zack asked as the kiss ended.

"I felt like it and Booth is too busy stopping Jamie and Justin from having you-know-what," Alex answered cheekily.

"Wait. They're doing WHAT? JAMIE, YOU'RE TOO YOUNG FOR THAT!" Sweets exclaimed as he ran off to help Booth.

"I'm gonna wait till Brennan, Cam and Zack are finished with the skull so I can put a face on it," Angela sighed.

"I have particulates to run," Hodgins announced as he grabbed the evidence and walked onto the forensic platform.

"I really don't have anything to do," Alex pouted as she sat on her blue wheely chair...and drank more coke.

"You wanna go spy on Booth, Jamie, Justin and Sweets?" Angela offered as she got the mischiveous glint in her eye.

"You had me at Booth," Alex answered excitedly.

Laughing, they left the forensic lab and headed towards the Egyption Storage Room.

The work hours went by. They managed to identify the remains as those of 8-year-old Katelyn McCarthy. She disappeared at the park near her home in Woodland 5 years ago. The Gravedigger used a different method this time. She knocked her out with a baseball bat and dragged her to the burial site near the place where Booth and the Squints found Terrance Gilroy buried in the freezer. But before she could place her in the coffin and bury her, she came to and put up a pretty big fight. In the end the Gravedigger ended up using the tasor on her which knocked her out instantly. Once she was out cold, she was sealed into the coffin and buried alive.

Booth and Brennan told the victim's family. She also had a big brother who instantly felt guilty because he felt like he didn't protect her. They found out that 2 hours after Katelyn was buried, they got the ransom call from the Gravedigger demanding $9 million dollars be transferred to an off-shore account in 24 hours in exchange for the co-ordinates to their daughter's burial site and that there would be no further communication. The father was wealthy, but not $9 million wealthy. And it would take 2 days to collect the remaining $5 million they needed to save her. But Hodgins informed them that even if they paid the ransom, their daughter would have had about as much as a chance to survive as she did in that coffin. The volts from the stun gun weakened her internal defences and in the end, she suffered from eternal bleeding before finally dieing.

"I have to go. Booth wants me to meet him at a resteraunt in town. He says he has something important to tell me. I have to head home to get ready," Brennan announced before leaving.

A minute later, Jamie appeared breathlessly.

"Where's Brennan?" Jamie demanded.

"Heading home to get ready to go to the resteraunt Booth told her to meet him at," Angela responded.

"She headed to the downstairs parking lot?" Jamie guessed.

"Yeah," Cam agreed.

"Great. I should be able to catch her," Jamie sighed in relief as she sprinted towards the parking lot.

Brennan approached her car and unlocked it. She opened the door and threw her bag in the back but someone approached her from behind. She screamed in pain as she was attacked by the stun gun and knocked out.

"Dr Brennan! Temperance!" Jamei shouted as she approached her car and found a bit of blood nearby and a fingernail scratch on the side, "Oh God. I have to tell the others.

But as she walked out onto the road, a car came to a squealing start. Jamie just stood there motionless as her feet froze to the foundation that made up the road. She saw blinding lights, felt intense pain and then the darkness overtook her.

Booth is still waiting for Brennan at the table he reserved in the romantic Italian resteraunt in Central DC. He decided that tonight would be the night he would finally tell her he loved her. Sure he told her when she got shot but she didn't remember. So there was no reason why he couldn't do it properly. In his suit pocket was a navy blue velvet box which had inside a gold heart shaped locket which had My Bones engraved on it and inside a photo of them together. At first, it was going to cost him a lot. But (begrudgingly) he let Alex and Jamie pitch in. Then he felt his phone vibrate in his pant pocket. He opened it and saw a message telling him of a new voicemail message. He thought it was odd. He didn't miss an incoming call. Thinking it was from Brennan, he opened the voicemail message. But as soon as he heard the voice, his blood ran cold.

"_I have taken Temperance Brennan and Jamie Burkes. They have 22 hours to live. Transfer $12 million dollars to the following account and have my death sentence revoked or they will suffocate to death. This is my final communication._"

"You back-stabbing bitch," Booth swore as he bolted out of the resteraunt and sped towards the lab.  
**-  
IceGirl: We know there wasn't a lot of randomness and funny moments, but considering with what is about to happen soon, we figured that the story should become a bit more...serious.**

Bite-Me: *pouting* I don't want the story to be serious. I want it to be Dumbledore!

IceGirl: I thought YOU wanted to be Dumbledore.

Bite-Me: No reason why this story can't be Dumbledore.

IceGirl: O...K.

Bite-Me: Don't go 'O...K' with me. You're just jealous because you're not Dumbledore.

IceGirl: Bite-Me, bite me.

Bite-Me: BITE YOURSELF! I'M BUSY!

IceGirl: Don't you get tired of that?

Bite-Me: It's my thing. Don't even think about stealing it!

IceGirl: I'm your padawan!

Bite-Me: I don't care! You're not stealing it because I said so!

IceGirl: This is getting a little intense.

Bite-Me: I hate intense.

IceGirl: *muttering* Could've fooled me.

Bite-Me: What did you say?

IceGirl: *quickly* Nothing.

Bite-Me: Anyways, we have characters to torture and stories to write with such little time.

IceGirl: Reviews are golden and alerts are an added bonus.

Bite-Me: Have a Merry Christmas.

IceGirl: And a Happy New Year.


	7. Chapter 7

**IceGirl: La de da de da...**

**Bite-Me: Dude, what the hell?**

**IceGirl: I'm bored!**

**Bite-Me: You need a hobby...and some cookies.**

**IceGirl: Music is my hobby...and no thanks. I already had two.**

**Bite-Me: OK, . We have to get on with the story so people don't stab us with pitchforks and things.**

**Booth: Awww... *puts away pitchfork pouting***

**IceGirl: Dude, what the hell?**

**Bite-Me: THAT'S MY LINE! I think he stole that from under my bed.**

**IceGirl: You have pitchforks under your bed?**

**Bite-Me: Maybe. Now...OWN WITH THE STORY! WE OWN NOTHING!**

**IceGirl: Except the plot for this story and Alex and Jamie.**

**Bite-Me: ...Cookies...**

**Booth: How do you put up with her?**

**IceGirl: Me knowing her since I started high school.**

**Booth: Fair enough.**

**Bite-Me: Hello! Story! WE NEED TO GET ON WITH THE STORY!**

**IceGirl and Bite-Me: Chapter 7: Panic Attacks and Plans to Wed...**

"GUYS! GUYS! GUYS! GUYS! GUYS!" Booth kept on yelling as he ran in like a girl.

"WHAT? I'M WATCHING FOOTBALL AND GETTING $50 FROM HODGINS!" Alex yelled in frustration.

"I need your help! Something terrible has happened!" Booth panted.

"What? You realised you're a guy and NOT a girl?" Hodgins snickered.

"50 POINTS!" Zach and Alex exclaimed.

"Now you got him doing it," Booth sighed.

"I KNOW! IT'S AWESOME!" Alex squealed.

"Booth, you're still in a panic," Cam stated, "What's up?"

"Jamie and Brennan have been buried alive and have only 11 hours to live!" Booth announced.

"SAY WHAT? WHO KIDNAPPED MY BEST FRIEND?" Alex exclaimed in rage, "AND MY AUNTY WHO ISN'T MY AUNTY YET AND SHALL BE MY AUNTY?"

"That was a mouthful," Zach remarked.

"I know," Alex agreed, "And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna disappear of the face of the earth now."

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" Justin exclaimed before hyperventilating.

"CALM DOWN, MAN!" Hodgins screamed in Justin's face as he shook him by the shoulders.

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY F***ING GOD!" Justin kept on shouting...until Hodgins slapped him in the face, "OW!"

"SNAP OUT OF IT!" Hodgins snapped.

"We need to find some way to get them back!" Angela reminded them, "...Where did Alex go? And where did my computer go? And where's Cam?"

Somewhere else...

"Alex, what are you doing in Brennan's office?" Cam asked as she walked into Brennan's office.

"Hacking into the Army Satellite System to track down my best friend and my aunty who's not my aunty yet by tracking their phones with the help of my friend, McGee, from NCIS. Don't tell my uncle. He'll try to kill me...and freak out," Alex answered.

"Can you teach me how to do that?" Cam questioned.

"Later, young padawan. Later," Alex nodded, "Yes! I'm almost in! Correction: I am in! YAY! Thank you, McGee. I owe you a game of Halo later. Oh! There goes my coffee buddy. HI, GIBBS!"

Gibbs waved back and walked away...not without giving McGee his famous 'Gibbs Slap'.**(IceGirl: hehehehehehehehehehe… Bite-Me: Seriously? IceGirl: I felt like it! Bite-Me: Fair enough.)**

"Why do I get the feeling that there's this dark, evil man standing behind us ready to kill us?" Cam asked nervously.

"That's because it's my uncle. He's got this thing where he becomes all creepy when he's mad. I've got uncle sensooooors. Aw shiz!" Alex exclaimed as she and Cam looked up and saw Booth and Sweets standing over them.

"Just smile and wave, Alex. Smile and wave," Cam muttered to Alex through gritted teeth.

"What are you doing?" Booth demanded.

"I'm hacking into the Army Satellite System to find Jamie and Brennan," Alex answered.

"And who's that?" Sweets demanded as he pointed to screen.

"That's Gibbs, my coffee-drinking buddy. That's McGee, my video-gaming and hacking buddy. That one over there with the stupid grin on his face is DiNozzo. He's not loved (DiNozzo: Ya know ya love me. Alex: You wish). The one who looks like a goth chick who is a goth chick is Abby. She teaches me awesome things to do with science and computers. And that there is Ziva. She taught me how to kill someone with a paper clip. Very useful," Alex introduced.

"She taught you what?" Booth demanded.

"Nothing," Alex answered nervously, "Anyway, back on track, we need to find these people. Gibbs, help me!"

"On it," Gibbs nodded before he and his team walked away.

"You better make good with that Halo promise," McGee said to Alex.

"I'll come over this arvo," Alex promised before signing off and turning to Booth, "How dead am I?"

"So, so, SO DEAD!" Booth answered evilly.

Alex squealed and ran off with Booth hot on her tail. Cam just stood there wondering what the hell is going on before remembering the situation.

"Aw, shit," Cam suddenly cursed out of nowhere.

Suddenly, a turkey came into the room. Cam stares at Turkey. Turkey stares back. Turkey starts to look over at the GPS system that's plugged into the computer. Turkey grabs the GPS and runs off with Cam screaming behind him,

"HEY! WE NEED THAT!"

Turkey runs past Hodgins and Zach with the GPS in its mouth.

"What…the hell?" Hodgins and Zach asked.

"THE TURKEY HAS THE GPS!" Cam shouted.

"Sweet! My Thanksgiving turkey!"Hodgins squealed as he ran after the turkey.

Suddenly there's a crash in the direction where the Turkey ran off too. Emerging from the crash site was Booth holding both Alex and the Turkey.

"OK. Quick question: Why is there a turkey here? And why does he have a GPS? …HEY! THAT'S MY GPS!" Alex exclaimed.

"IT WAS HIS FAULT!" everyone else (excluding Hodgins) exclaimed as they pointed at Hodgins.

"I didn't know the turkey would come alive and try and steal the GPS! It likes Skittles!" Hodgins defended.

"Skittles?" Justin repeated in disbelief.

"Well, at least we know where all the Skittles from the vending machine went," Alex remarked, "Mind putting me down anytime soon? We need to find our friends. They are running out of oxygen as we speak."

That caused Booth to immediately drop Alex and Turkey.

"THAT HURT, YOU STUPID HOBO!" Alex shouted, causing the Turkey to nod in agreement.

"Isn't a turkey meant to be dumb?" Zach asked.

"Isn't Hodgins meant to be smart?" Alex replied.

"Good point ... HEY!" shouted Hodgins as he realised Alex was calling him dumb.

"What? You just admitted that you're stupid and that a turkey is smarter than you!" Alex retorted.

"She has a point, numnuts," Angela nodded in agreement.

"STOP STEALING MY WORDS!" Alex screeched before whispering to Angela, "I thought you like him."

"I do. But he's acting like a retard," Angela observed.

"Correction: HE IS A RETARD!" Alex corrected.

"MY NUTS ARE NOT NUMB!" Hodgins screamed like a little girl.

"TOO MUCH INFO!" Cam cringed.

"OK! Enough with making Hodgins look like a retard when he actually is a retard. WE NEED TO SAVE OUR FRIENDS! And someone wake up my uncle! He looks like a dead hobo on the floor. I think he fainted," Alex remarked.

"hehe. Hobo…," Zack giggled.

"Actually, I knocked him out," Sweets confessed.

"Why did you do that?" Alex demanded.

"He was annoying me," Sweets explained.

"Good point. You are now on my favourite peoples list," Alex proclaimed.

"You have a favourite peoples list?" Sweets repeated.

"I'll fill you in on the list later. Right now…WE NEED TO SAVE BRENNAN AND JAMIE! TO THE CAR! I would say Batmobile, but Batman's gone to get me some cheeseburgers right now so…yeah," Alex said.

"How do you know Batman?" Justin asked.

"I have connections! Seriously! I'm a computer genius! I'm a genius in general! Who do you think fixes Batman's car?" Alex retorted as they headed towards the door.

"Doesn't he fix it himself?" Justin asked.

"No. He's good with technology and stuff but not with cars. Which is funny because he built the Batmobile. He has the butler man to do it when I'm not around. Oh! Don't tell my uncle that I fix Batman's car. There are many things he doesn't need to know," Alex remarked.

"OK! Quick question: WHO'S DRIVING?" Cam asked.

"Well, Booth's passed out. I don't trust Sweets or Hodgins with a car because they'll end up racing people…well, Hodgins will. I don't know about Sweets. Zack can't drive a car. And Angela just doesn't feel like driving. So Cam, you wanna drive?" Alex offered.

"YES!" Cam screamed.

"You like driving my car, don't you?" Alex smirked.

"Yes," Cam nodded as she grabbed the keys and ran like a bat out of hell, "Hold on. Which car do you have today?"

"I think I brought the X-Trail…yeah. It's the X-Trail," Alex recalled, "EVERYBODY IN THE CAR! And somebody drag Booth in."

Suddenly, Booth jumped upright conscious and worried like HELL.

"Have we rescued my girlfriend and daughter?" Booth asked eagerly.

"WHAT?" everyone else exclaimed.

"What? YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER?" Alex screeched.

"Aw shiz," Booth cursed.

"Yeah! Shiz! That's right! Oh! We're here!" Alex shouts as she jumps out through the sunroof onto the ground.

"WHERE DID YOU LEARN HOW TO DO THAT?" Booth demanded.

"I do gymnastics! Seriously, Uncle! Learn these things! Now, from what my GPS is telling me, they're right underneath this car. Anybody at all know how to, like, MOVE this car? OK? Nobody? Nobody? No takers at all? OK. Somebody get me a God damn hairclip!" Alex requested.

"How come you don't have a hairclip?" Angela asked.

"I may be female. But I do not own hairclips. I use hair ties on my hair. Speaking of which, Angela! HIT ME WITH A RIBBON!" Alex shouted.

"Why do you need a ribbon?" Angela asked.

"So I don't set my hair on fire like I did the last time I did this," Alex answered.

"What?" Booth exclaimed.

"ENOUGH TALK! I NEED THE RIBBON AND THE HAIR CLIP! HURRY UP!" Alex shouts as she tied her hair back and ran towards the car.

"What are you doing?" Booth demanded.

"I'm hotwiring a car," Alex said as she worked on the engine.

"How do you know how to hotwire a car?" Booth asked.

"Dad taught me for emergency reasons. Like when someone tries to kidnap me, I can steal their car and getaway," Alex explained.

"OK. I'll let that slide," Booth decided.

"I knew you would. Anyway, Cam! Get in the car and do reverse!" Alex instructed.

Like a giddy school, Cam ran into the car and reversed it, revealing a very large hole and a car.

"Look! I can see Brennan and Jamie! WAAAAAAAAAAH!" Alex shouted as she fell into the hole and landed on Brennan's lap, "Hi, aunty who's not my aunty yet. How ya doing?"

"Jamie's unconscious," Brennan informed.

"Aw shiz," Alex cursed, "BOOTH, GET TO WORK ON THE HOLE AND HELP ME GET JAMIE OUT! SHE'S UNCONSCIOUS!"

"WHAT? MY DAUGHTER'S UNCONSCIOUS?" Booth screeched.

"WHAT?" everyone (except Booth and Brennan) exclaimed.

"I will discuss this with you later, Uncle. First things first: GET HER OUT OF THIS HOLE!" Alex shouted while shaking her fist at her uncle.

Booth runs over, lifts Jamie out and holds her in his arms.

"Touching sight. Now, Brennan, give me your foot," Alex requested.

"Why?" Brennan asked.

"Because it's like this cheerleading move where you put your foot in my hands and I lift you out of this hole," Alex explained.

"You did cheerleading?" Brennan repeated.

"Yes. It was the biggest mistake of my life. We will never speak of it again…that and mum still has the uniform. I don't why. Maybe she's hoping I'll become a cheerleader again. Anyways, JUST DO IT!" Alex screeched as she literally threw Brennan out of the hole, "Now someone help me out of this thing."

Zack just walked over and lifts her out without struggle.

"When did you get so strong?" Alex asked as she poked his arm, "Wow. It's like really cool!"

Zack just smirks. And Justin didn't show any signs of jealousy. Well…he did in his mind but we're not gonna go there. You don't wanna see what resides in Justin's mind. **(Bite-Me: Other than like chibi Alexs and Jamies. IceGirl: Yeah. What's up with that? Bite-Me: I don't know. But it's adorable. ONWARD! IceGirl: I wanted to say that. Bite-Me: Don't say my line. IceGirl: LEGGO! Bite-Me: ?)**

Alex continues poking his muscle and Zack is still standing there with a smirk on his face. Suddenly, the paramedics came out of nowhere and whisked Brennan and Jamie away to the hospital.

"How did THEY know where we were? Oh. I remember. Gibbs… Anyone know where my Gibbs is?" Alex asked.

"You have a Gibbs?" Justin repeated.

"Yeah. I have a Gibbs," Alex nodded.

"Where can I get a Gibbs?" Justin wanted to know.

"You can't. My Gibbs is just that cool," Alex answered.

_**2 weeks later…**_

"Where should we get married?" Justin asked.

"At the local church. I know the pastor. I could ask him to marry us," Jamie answered.

"Sweet," Justin smiled as he kissed her and wrote it all down.

"Hold on. Wait. I just remembered something. Something to do with a wedding…and Jamie's marrying somebody starting with a J," Alex mumbled.

"Yeah. I'm marrying Justin," Jamie announced.

"Oh, that explains the mind blank," Alex remarked.

"Why…?" Jamie trailed off.

"Because whenever you talk about the Bieber boy, I have a mind blank," Alex confessed.

"Bieber boy?" Justin and Jamie repeated.

"Why, yes," Alex nodded eagerly.

"Hey, Alex. I want you to be my maid of honour," Jamie announced.

"Do I have to wear a dress?" Alex asked.

"You can wear a blue one," Jamie singed.

"I hate you and your bribery that always works," Alex grumbled.

"You love me. Who you kidding?" Jamie retorted.

"The world. Your face. Your mum. The list goes on," Alex smirked, "Speaking of parents, BOOTH! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE! WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT JAMIE BEING YOUR DAUGHTER!"

To be continued…  
**-  
Bite-Me: The wedding will be in the next episode**.

**IceGirl: We're doing episodes now?**

**Bite-Me: Yeah. Because I said so. Lol**

**IceGirl: What is it with you and that word?**

**Bite-Me: It's my favourite word.**

**IceGirl: I thought hobo was your favourite word.**

**Bite-Me: It's one of my many favourite words.**

**IceGirl: You have many favourite words?**

**Bite-Me: Yes. Because I am that awesome.**

**IceGirl: My favourite word is .**

**Bite-Me: Don't say that word.**

**IceGirl: What word?**

**Bite-Me: The word.**

**IceGirl: You mean ?**

**Bite-Me: Hellz yeah! OK. That's all from us.**

**IceGirl and Bite-Me: BYE!****And he has his butler man. He must**


End file.
